119 bad mood

i always fear dead when im lonely
my dad used to hug me at night
i had nightmares about feelings
i was wearing an old red dress from mother
and i had a strange feeling about love
like i was too old to get better
and then -in that strange dream of mine-
i realized i was a gold child
wearing black shoes
and soft cotton eyelash
and i stoped dreaming
my beauty home-made cloud came down
and i started the falling
and my dad is not here
(he wont be either)
and im so afraid
of dead
who is waiting me outside the bathroom
and im so blue right now
and he is not dreaming about me
and im so alone in this empty body
and i wish so hard i was here for puke myself
and i left my shoes outside the window
and if dead is here what can i say
and if its not a nightmare
how would i
know
what is
the way out
of this

118 lord knows we will never be lovers again

i break into million pieces when i see your face
i think there's something about the way you used to hug me
that i cant left away
and then is when a blue shadow becomes my best company
i used to thought it was loneliness
the one you bring to me
every time i see your hands around her
but now the time has passed away
(as my feelings)
and i can tell you the reason why
i used to wear the shoes
without socks
and then
(yes, your face again)
youre laughing about me
(yes, yours eyes making fool again)
i play guitar and songs come to my mind as memories
and memories are always well known -as feelings i guess-
and we well never be lovers again
and we well never enjoy company as well
and im so afraid of that blue shadows that comes to me
all the nights
and i fear the kiss of memories when youre gone
and thank god youre so far away
so my mind can rest
in that red dream you left