95 i wonder why the sadness doesnt make me feel sad

i saw you leaving
you were using your old blue jeans
and that jacket that remind me the old times

i saw you leaving twice
i dont know why
and i didnt know
why i was still looking for you

i saw you leaving
in that shiny smile
and i wonder why
why did you leave
for second time

i saw you leaving
with her
and i remind
the way my hands
shook in the dark
because of the hurting

i saw you leaving again
and it didnt hurt
this time
your soft pale hands
still looks for me in my bed

but im not

im not leaving you

even if i want to

i cant leave you (in my mind, thoughts)

i wish i could